Understanding Values

You’re thinking of buying a tractor. Will you choose the most comfortable or the most luxurious one, the one with the best warranty, or the one that carries the most prestige? Unbeknownst to you, your values influence your decision. But to what extent are you aware of what those values are?

One of the first emotional abilities related to emotional intelligence (see this column in the December 2011 issue) is knowing yourself, which starts with knowing your values. A value is what is true, beautiful and good, based on personal or social criteria, and what is used as a reference or moral principle. Your values affect your choices, your actions and your level of satisfaction in life. Indeed, when you feel that your lifestyle is in line with your values, you feel more in harmony. These are important references in your personal, professional and business life. A value is said to be 10 to 100 times more important in life than a gift, a talent or a quality.

When we are faced with a dilemma or with an interior conflict because of a decision we need to make, it means that one or more values that are important to us are conflicting. We must make a difficult choice, based on a hierarchy of values. This hierarchy is bound to change gradually over the years, but it can happen more suddenly due to a tragic event (such as death, accident, bankruptcy or divorce).

If you want to quickly discover your values or those of others, pay attention to the following three questions:

1. Where do you invest your money? Example: You find that fresh fruit and vegetables are always too expensive (value = health), but you drive a luxury car (comfort, prestige, recognition). You prefer to forgo renovations in your house (comfort, estheticism, prestige) in order to invest in your children’s education (education).
2. Where do you spend your energy? You have time to sit on four committees (social involvement or recognition), but never enough to work out (health), or to spend time with your family (family). There are 24 hours in a day, and the way you spend your time is based on what you value the most.
3.  What do you like to talk about? You always talk about your business, ways to increase production (efficiency, recognition, achievement) or you talk about your children and their projects (family, children).

Each decision that we take, or do not take, speaks to our values.
To find out what your values are, think about this:

• What makes you the happiest?
• What offends you or frustrates you the most?
• What are the criteria that you most often base your daily decisions on?
• If you could change the past, what would you change?

Think of yourself at age 80 and ask yourself…

• What will be my biggest regrets when I look back at my life?
• Which achievements will I be the most proud of?

All of your answers reflect your values. If you are dissatisfied with your answers, it may be time for you to reconsider what truly matters to you.

Pierrette Desrosriers is a work psychologist, speaker and psychological coach who specializes in helping those working in agriculture. She can be contacted by e-mail at pierrette@pierrettedesrosiers.com, or if you would like more information, visit her website at www.pierrettedesrosiers.com.