What does it mean to succeed?

There are six characteristics of a successful life:

1. A peaceful mind: freedom from anger, resentment, anxiety, despair, shame and guilt.
2. A high level of energy and health: a body that is in harmony with the mind; having energy to invest in achieving goals.
3. Positive relationships with others: developing and maintaining significant, positive and mature relationships.
4. Financial independence: freedom from constant worry about money; having sufficient ease to feel safe and able to meet one’s own needs.
5. Engaging and stimulating goals and ideals: knowing the reason for getting out of bed each morning and where to invest energy, time and money.
6. Self-actualization: having a sense of becoming who one wants to become, of developing one’s full human potential positively and constructively for oneself and others.

Are all of these characteristics required to feel successful in life? Certainly not. But the more we have, the more we benefit. These characteristics are not to be perceived as fully present or absent, but rather, as on a continuum. It should also be noted that we can have a great deal of influence over these characteristics.

For example, only we can stop sustaining hatred. This is true for all other emotions. We cannot control certain events in life, but we can choose our reaction. Also, we are responsible for our lifestyles: nutrition, sleep, physical exercise, tobacco and alcohol use.

We can make choices with respect to financial resources, even if they are sometimes limited. Some people will make wiser choices than others about the same amount of money. In addition, lifestyle and emotions have a direct effect on financial health.

Finally, only we can set stimulating and constructive goals for ourselves. We must take the time to look at our resources and define realistic goals that are appropriate for us (couple, personal, family, business).

Is all this easy? Certainly not, otherwise everyone would manage to do it. It it possible? Certainly it is, because some people do indeed manage to do it.

How do we accomplish this? Here are a few hints: hone your sense of observation. Be realistic about the current situation. Have a clear image of where you want to be. Understand that acts, thoughts and feelings can either foster or harm success.

It is up to us to take our courage in our hands, imitate those who succeed and work on it every day. But only if we want success.

MANAGING EMOTIONS
Losing control of your emotions always works against you. How many times have you regretted words, actions or decisions once the emotion has passed? If you are often in the grip of strong emotions (anger, sarcasm, hostility) and you are unaware, three things can happen:

• Physiologically, you are at risk of developing significant health problems such as irregular blood pressure, ulcers and even coronary artery disease.
• You will cause emotional damage to those around you without being aware of it.
• Your management abilities will be affected and your business will suffer. During intense emotions, your intellectual abilities are greatly diminished.

In the grip of emotion, your judgment is altered. You are deprived of your ability to reason, plan and assess the consequences from various angles.  It is thus important to recognize your emotions and then take action to learn to better manage them.

The person in the grip of a compulsion is focussed on the immediate emotional consequences of their action (relief of the emotional tension they are feeling) at the expense of more long-term emotional consequences (shame, guilt, regret) or material or physical consequences (financial problems after an impulsive).

After becoming aware that you have been taken over by emotions (being emotionally aware is the foundation of healthy business management), how can you manage them better?

• First, never act or speak in the heat of emotion. (Remember, you are deprived of part of your intelligence.) If possible, physically remove yourself from the situation as long as it takes to return to normal. Usually, 20 minutes of recovery time is required.
• Breathe deeply 10 times in order to induce physiological relaxation. (It is difficult to get angry when you are relaxed.)
• Take time to reflect. Why does this situation, word or person bother me so much? What needs are stimulated? What values am I confronting?
• Imagine a person you admire for their good judgment and ask yourself what that would person do in this situation. What advice would they give you?
• What are the consequences of these emotions on you, those around you and your work?
• How could you look at the situation differently? Is what is happening so terrible?
• Finally, in 20 years, how important will this situation be in your life?

Pierrette Desrosriers is a work psychologist, speaker and psychological coach who specializes in helping those working in agriculture. She can be contacted by e-mail at pierrette@pierrettedesrosiers.com, or if you would like more information, visit her website at www.pierrettedesrosiers.com.